Author and singer shares important message about pregnancy and infant loss
Articles,  Blog

Author and singer shares important message about pregnancy and infant loss


HELLO AND WELCOME TO A SPECIAL EDITION OF “WHERE YOU LIVE.” TODAY, WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE TOPIC OF LOSS. I AM ONE IN FOUR. I AM ONE IN FOUR. I AM ONE. I AM ONE IN FOUR. WE ARE ONE IN FOUR. I WAS SIX MONTHS PREGNANT WHEN WE LOST NICHOLAS. HE WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF US. WE WILL MISS HIM EVERY DAY. ♪ HI. I’M BECKY. I RECENTLY PARTNERED WITH MUSIC FOR THE SOUL TO BRING YOU THIS SONG BEFORE WE SAID HELLO. IT IS OUR HOPE TO FIND THOSE WHO EXPIENCED PREGNANCY LOSS AND INSTANT LOSS — INFANT LOSS. ♪ WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOUR BABY’S LIFE MATTERS AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE. SO POWERFUL. WE ARE THRILLED TO HAVE WEST MICHIGAN’S OWN BECKY HERE TO SHARE HER JOURNEY. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME. YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT SOME REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY, YOUR FAMILY, AND KIND OF LET US KNOW WHO YOU ARE. WELL, I ALWAYS LIKE TO START WITH THE FACT THAT I HAVE HORSES, CHICKENS, AND A GOAT. [LAUGHTER] OK. I’M A REAL FARM GIRL. WE HAVE A BLENDED FAMILY. WE HAVE SIX OLDER CHILDREN THAT RANGE FROM 28 TO 23. DAVE AND I, WE ACTUALLY HAVE EIGHT TOTAL CHILDREN. SIX TOGETHER IN HEAVEN AND TWO THAT ARE WITH US. WE HAVE FIVE PREGNANCY LOSSES AND STILLBIRTHS. MARANDA: THAT IS A LOT. IT SEEMS LIKE IT, BUT HONESTLY AS YOU LISTEN TO MORE AND MORE WOMEN, IT IS VERY COMMON SADLY. USUALLY WOMEN HAVE MULTIPLE LOSSES. MARANDA: SO WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR NICHOLAS, TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THAT. WE HAD BEEN TRYING TO HAVE A SECOND CHILD AFTER WE HAD GRACE, BECAUSE SHE IS SO FAR AWAY FROM THE OTHER SIBLINGS. WE DECIDED WE ARE GOING TO TRY TO HAVE ONE SO SHE WOULD NOT BE ALONE. WHEN WE GOT PREGNANT FOR NICHOLAS, IT WAS AN EXTREME JOY. WE WERE VERY EXCITED AND SO WERE ALL THE PEOPLE AROUND US, BUT AT ONE POINT, I JUST STARTED FEELING REALLY UNWELL, IS HOW I CALL IT. WE FOUND OUT THAT WE HAD LOST HIM SERAL WEEKS PRIOR TO GIVING BIRTH TO HIM. I WAS A PRETTY SICK GIRL. IT WAS HEARTBREAKING. WE NEVER EXPERIENCED A BABY THAT WAS NOT LIVING AND BIRTHING THAT BABY. AND FELT VERY ALONE IN THE PROCESS. WE JUST COULD NOT KNOW THAT MANY PEOPLE, IT IS NOT SOMETHING PEOPLE REGULARLY TALK ABOUT. MARANDA: I THINK THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE DOING. YOU ARE OPENING THE DOOR AND SAYING, THIS IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. WE NEED TO COME TOGETHER AS A COMMUNITY. YOU HAVE A BOOK NOW AND A SONG THAT HAS COME OUT. TELL ME ABOUT THE JOURNEY OF THAT WHOLE EXPERIENCE. BECKY: OH MY GOODNESS. ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT YOU THINK OF IN DEEP SORROW AND PAIN IS WHAT GOOD COULD POSSIBLY COME FROM IT. THE DOORS JUST BEGIN TO OPEN. THAT IS THE ONE THING THAT I HOPE TO GIVE TO OTHER PEOPLE THROUGH THIS PROJECT, THAT THERE IS ALWAYS A PURPOSE IN YOUR PAIN. THAT YOU CAN TAKE SOMETHING HORRIFICALLY PAINFUL, AND GOOD CAN COME OUT OF IT. AND YOU CAN ENCOURAGE OTHERS. IT WAS THROUGH A CHANCE MEETING WITH AN AWARD-WINNING SONGWRITER, STEVE SILER, THAT WE CAME TOGETHER AND PARTNERED WITH THE MINISTRY AND MISSION TO BRING A VOICE TO THE SILENCE. BECAUSE IT IS SOMETHING. I HAVE TALKED WITH WOMEN THAT HAVE HELD THIS SORROW IN FOR 60 PLUS YEARS, NEVER TOLD ANOTHER SOUL. THEY ARE BITING ME AND SHARING THEIR STORY. WE WENT — THEY ARE WRITING ME AND SHARING THEIR STORY TO READ WE WENT TO THE STUDIO — THEY ARE WRITING ME AND SHARING THEIR STORY. WE WENT TO THE STUDIO AND WROTE THE SECOND SONG TO THE PROJECT. IT WAS AN UTTER JOY TO WORK WITH THEM. BUT ALSO, I FOUND THERE WAS MORE HEALING FOR ME IN DOING THAT, TOO. MARANDA: THE BOOK WAS AFTER THE PUBLICIST SAID WHERE IS THE BOOK? WITHOUT, WOW, THERE SHOULD BE SOMETHING TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLE. WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THE BOOK IS INSIDE THERE IS A LOT OF STORIES OF WEST MICHIGAN PEOPLE. IT JUST FEELS LIKE SOMEONE HAS SAT DOWN ON A COUCH WITH YOU AND IS SHARING THEIR HEART WITH YOU AND OFFERING HOPE IN YOUR SORROW. MARANDA: THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL. I KNOW YOU WILL BE TOURING THE COUNTRY SHARING YOUR MESSAGE BUT YOU WILL BE HERE IN WEST MICHIGAN WHERE LOCAL FAMILIES CAN RUN OUT AND TALK WITH YOU AND REALIZE THEY ARE NOT ALONE. TELL ME ABOUT THE UPCOMING EVENT IN LATE OCTOBER. BECKY: WE HAVE COME ALONGSIDE SAFE 45, WHICH IS A MINISTRY BASED OUT OF HOLLAND, MICHIGAN. THEY DO WONDERFUL WORK IN THE AREA WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD LOSS. CARE PACKAGES. I KNOW THEY ARE WORKING ON A MENTORING PROGRAM, WHICH IS SO CRUCIAL BECAUSE YOU FEEL SO ALONE AND ISOLATED. TO HAVE SOMEONE TO WALK YOU THROUGH THE PROCESS, EVEN JUST THE TANGIBLE PROCESS OF MISCARRYING OR LOSING A BABY, IS SO AND COULD WE HELPFUL AND SUCH A BLESSING. OCTOBER 12 AT HARPER LIKE CHURCH IN GRANVILLE. MARANDA: YOU GOT YOUR BOOK SIGNING. BECKY: YES WE DO ON THE 22ND AT BAKER BOOK HOUSE. WE HAVE ANOTHER SIGNING AT THE GIFT SHOP IN ROCKFORD IN DECEMBER. MARANDA: YOU ARE GOING TO BE OUT AND ABOUT. IN THE END, YOU REALLY HAVE THE MESSAGE OF YOU ARE NOT ALONE. BECKY: YES. THAT IS SO IMPORTANT, THAT WE COME TOGETHER AND NOT ISOLATE AND FEEL LIKE WE ARE ALL ALONE IN A BATTLE AND THAT THERE IS A PLACE FOR YOUR CHILD’S LIFE TO GRIEVE, TO OFFER THE SPACE FOR PEOPLE. WE CANNOT FIX WHAT WE DO NOT FACE AND WE CANNOT HEAL. MARANDA: BECKY, YOU ARE BOLD. THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING SO COURAGEOUSLY FOR US. CANNOT WAIT TO READ THE BOOK AND HEAR THE SONGS. BECKY: THANK YOU SO MUCH. ♪

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *