CHILDBIRTH SIMULATOR CHALLENGE ft JACK MAYNARD
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CHILDBIRTH SIMULATOR CHALLENGE ft JACK MAYNARD


Right Jack next question Turn it off! Oh yeh, sorry sorry *screams* Sorry I forgot, I forgot Nee naw, nee naw, nee naw, nee naw Look me in the eyes, shine a torch You okay? No I’m scared, my heart’s beating Let me check your temperature That’s not how you check temperature Oh sorry Hello everyone Welcome back to Suggy Surgery Now today, my third and potentially final patient, who knows? Your kidding me, now after me it’s the end Well the thing is I’m worried someone might actually die, during this series I’m joined with Mr Jack Maynard How are you feeling? I’m so scared, I hate pain You’re meant to say pregnant I’m feeling pregnant Oh! Well I’ve been feeling a few kicks in me tummy I’m not sure if it’s a dodgy nandos or if I’m pregnant So Jack is the third patient in the series How we do it Is basically, I’m gonna strap you up to the “contraction machine” Which apparently emulates the way it feels to have a contraction Jack all you have to do, to avoid these contractions Is simply answer a question about the females Yeah, females The questions are in my Nintendo Switch pouch Yep, that’s right, I’ve got a Nintendo Switch I can’t deliver this baby with you in your normal trendy clothes You know, you’re gonna have to go and get changed Go on, off you pop As long as it’s not the one Mikey wore, I don’t really mind No it’s fine, it’s not, it’s not Definitely a boy, sounds like a boy Right, Jack, I’m gonna strap you up to the machine Are you ready Sir? No If you’d like to expose your impregnated area No, not the vagina, I don’t want to see that It’s time for us to play Baby, baby, baby, *screaming* Right okay, Jack For your first contraction, first question is What is a maxi dress? A maxi dress What is a maxi dress? Maxi A maxi dress Maxi Think Maximum Think Like length, it’s a long dress I’m gonna give it to you Yes! Ding! Ding! Ding! A long dress that reaches the floor Yeah that’s, yeah Wait so every time I get one, it goes up Eight’s it’s big day So there’s eight questions Do you wanna test eight now? No no no So is that eight questions? No there’s a few more than eight Oh no Jack, you know a lot about the females You taught me everything I know He has Right, this one comes in from Emily Chamberlain Thanks Emily She says, Jack She didn’t say ‘love you’ though, bit harsh I’ll say four Bearing in mind, it could be a trick question Ermmmmm The way you’re holding it, is really like giving me anxiety How many, Jack? How many different types of orgasm? Two! The actual answer was eleven WHAT?! Which I’m__ I haven’t even made one Exactly, I am jealous When do you stop? I will tell you *screaming* No no no no no no 3 2 1 *screams* Yes, I can feel it Right, next up This one comes in from Naomi Mae Sounds weird Nothing sounds weird on this channel Naomi Trust me it doesn’t Average cup size for a lady So… the cup size is the letter? Yes I’m gonna chuck it out and say ‘C’ ‘C’? You’re locking in ‘C’? Yep, I’m locking in ‘C’ Oh Jack Oh no. No. Wait what was it though It was ‘C’! YES!!! He got it He’s nailed it Congratulations, that was a toughy I like this question Now other than the lovely refreshing taste… Why might a girl drink cranberry juice *whispers* Do you think you know this one? And she’s not in a club trying to mix it with vodka Not that reason Do girls get like cravings as well? Is it something to do with their period? Incorrect Jack Oh no It’s to soothe a urinary infection Oh mate, I’d never have got that No no no no no Here we go… (3) NO! (2) NO! (1) NO! *screams* Stop it! *screams* Can you feel it? Ahhh, yeah I can feel it Is it a baby? Has it arrived Jack? I think it’s coming! Okay, on average What is the most expensive style… of knickers That’s right… knickers! Is it ‘A’ – a thong Ooo Jack, a thong Is it ‘B’ – french knickers Is it ‘C’ – waist clencher Or is it ‘D’ – boxers I think I’ve heard of this one Bear in mind… thongs don’t have a lot of material to them Is it ‘C’? The waist clencher Yeah Jack Oh no You’ve seen how intricate french knickers are But you are right, it was ‘C’ – waist clenchers It was How did you know that? I lived with a girl for a year and I remember her saying Well, I would have thought it would be like french knickers though Right, this one’s from Girl Maynard My girl They aren’t talking iPad, they’re talking like pad, pad They’re sticky parts that… oh wait, I just gave you the answer, s*** That’s so embarrassing I didn’t know where the… she didn’t put ‘Q’ then ‘A’ underneath Sorry Girl Maynard, I messed that up I’m gonna shock you anyway NOOO! *screams* *laughter* You weren’t expecting that one were ya Okay, this is a good one This one comes in from Hattie Dreamcast… Demarest, sorry I got that wrong Dreamcast? *laughs* Ahhh, remember dreamcast What a console …okay Did you know the answer to this one I know the answer cuz apparently Tom Cruise also ate it Cheeky little devil The something sac, what is it? Not a ball sac, give you a clue, not a ball sac Ermmm, the baby’s ball sac *laughter* The *mumbles* sac Something *mumbles* sac The Theresa May sac? Yeah The Theresa May sac, you’re locking that in? The Theresa May sac… I’m sorry it was the placenta Four! *screams* Oh my God, that hurts a lot more Yeah, feel that *screams* Feel that, have some of that Take a deep breath cuz I got a feeling you’re gonna get this wrong Name any of the four main characters in Gilmore Girls Oh mate I’ve never watched it, I’ve never watched it Just give me some names, you might be close Alice, Harriet, Laura aaaaaaand Theresa I was gonna say if you could guess any of the first names I would still give it to you but no Lorelai Gilmore, Rory Gilmore, Sookie St. James and Lane Kim Imagine if I guessed Ermm and we’ll just throw it in there, Sookie St. James *laughter* I’d be like, oh my god Here we go Five! *screams* Five! Oh my *screams* Suck it in *screams* Suck it in, get it out yet? I’ve heard stories about you I feel like you might know this one Which… that sounds really bad Which of these is the name of a premium vibrator Wait, what? We ain’t talking ya bog standard cheap fidget spinner kind of s*** We’re talking, ya premium vibrator Why would I know? Is it ‘A’ – a flounder *laughing* a flounder *laughing* a fish a flounder *laughter* Ohhh a flounder ‘B’ – a letterman As in like a letter box, like hello No, no it’s not ‘C’ – a cishun Or ‘D’ – doxie Flounder, letterman, cishun or doxie What you gonna go with Jack? Well flounder is a fish Think back to, yeh but they could be named after a fish You ever seen how a flounder moves Yeh but a flounder isn’t__ They flounder about in the water Like this… There’s nothing sexy about a flounder Like imagine that, imagine that, that’s gonna be fun I only know one of them What’ve you heard of? Which one have you heard of Jack? Ermm ‘D’ what was it, doxie I’m going for doxie You’re right! YES! It was doxie I need to check your gender I reckon you are actually secretly a girl Jack is secretly a girl everyone Next question and this is a tough one What rating has the new Wonder Woman film got on IMDb I keep feeling 7.5, I’m locking it in 7.5 Oh Jack, Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack It was 8.3 NO! *screams* NO! Oh my word It was 8.3 Ohhh Oh my God, it’s a big one You should know it, this is definitely… in the curriculum at school like you should know this, this is in like biology Alright What is ovulation? Is it to do with like inflaming of… the womb Inflaming of the womb Jack Maynard thinks that ovulation is when the walls of your womb get inflamed What school did you go to? Cardinal Newman Okay, Cardinal Newman, I’m sorry Ermmm Jack has failed you It’s when the ovaries are releasing eggs It’s when a woman’s at her most fertile Ovulation mate, ovaries, ovulation I’m ovulating, that’s what girls say Come on! Come on! *screams* *shouting* Oh my! Oh my God! Take that, go on! Suck it in! Hold on if you need to Nah that’s too tight, ah ah ahhhh PMS stands for Pooey Man Sausage *laughter* Come on I don’t know I’ll give you the first word… pre Pre ministrual Minstrels?! That’s a chocolate! That’s a bloody chocolate you eat at the cinema Pre ministerial, ministry of magic errr Pre ministering syndrome, I don’t know Ahhh, do you know what Jack, I wanna give it to you so bad No, you’re lying Don’t, don’t take that Don’t Whatever Pre Menstrual Syndrome You’re lying I’m not joking, pre menstrual syndrome You almost had it I know, I literally said that I just can’t say it properly But that’s your own fault No! No it’s not! Joe! You cannot do that to me! I got it right, I just couldn’t remember what the word was Shhh, you’re disturbing other patients You’re buzzing me for no reason *screams* Oh my God! That was six That was, that was on my gooch Straight on your gooch? Straight on gooch Okay, is it better now? Better now? Jack Yeah Final question How much is the average woman’s haircut? £70 It was £25 to £50 You got it wrong Jack You got it wrong! We’re going all the way up to eight No we’re not No we’re not, mate I’m so nervous Here we go 3… 2… 1… *screams* Ahhh that’s straight in my gooch Straight in the gooch?! Straight in my gooch Turn it off I’m turning it off! Jack, I’m turning it! Turn it off Jack, I’m trying to turn it off! It’s broken No *screams* Turn it off! There we go, there we go *laughter* We got it, we got it Oh wait! *pop* I forgot Sorry, where’s my assistant to deliver the baby There you go, your new child It’s got it’s hand in the air Look, it wants to answer a question He knows the answer to what PMS stands for Your new child What do you want to name him? Oli White You’re going for Oli Oli White Maynard *laughing* Yeah Right, so there we go Jack Maynard has given birth to a beautiful baby boy He went through a lot of pain And we’ve discovered that actually you know quite a lot about females Did I do better than most people or? Do you know what, so far on the leader board, you have done the best So there we go, that was Jack Maynard taking on the challenge of the childbirth simulator If you enjoyed the video, give it a big thumbs up Subscribe to Jack, subscribe to myself And I will see you next week with another Sugg Sunday Special Cheers, goodbye Oh God, I’m in pain Guys, I forgot, Jack’s got to nominate someone You can just see my nipple You can see Jack’s nipple See, stay til the end of the video It’s all about watch time The more watch time I get on these videos The more YouTube love me So guys, this is why you should wait around til the end of the video Cuz 1, you get to see Jack’s nipple And 2, you get to find out who he nominates to do it next Who do you wanna see… take on the childbirth simulator next Out of our mates or other YouTubers I’m gonna have to nominate Caspar Caspar? Yeah Caspar Lee Caspar, you’re up Buddy, and I know for a fact From previous videos He HATES tense machines He’s gonna hate this From when we did the Hit The Road Tour thing We had to one with tense machines And every time he was like “guys can we just pretend for me… because I actually can’t handle it” Like we didn’t, we didn’t But he HATES it Caspar Lee, I’m coming for you boy You’re up

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