DIL GIVES BIRTH! – Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #42
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DIL GIVES BIRTH! – Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #42

P: Hello DanAndPhilGAMES alien pregnancies! D: Wow, you’re just coming straight in there (P: I did) D: that was a complete lack of subtleness right there P: I’m so excited and scared for this Sims episode, P: I don’t know what’s gonna happen D: Welcome back to The Sims 4 with Dan and Phil D: where… P: Dil is pregnant D: Dil Howlter, our male sim, is pregnant after being abduc- D: wHAT THE FUCK DID I CLICK (P: What are you doing?) D: HELP (P: No!) D: *screams* P: *screams* D: He’s pregnant with an alien baby P: Yeah, I mean, that is a thing D: We don’t know what this means D: We don’t know what happens D: We’re shooked D: we’re spooked D: and we’re ready to return. P: And we’ll blow their house down *laughs* P: That’s what that sounded like D: How are you doing P: Speedy speedy (D: Okayyy) D: School for Dab starts in an hour (P: slow down!) D: OH MY GOD pause, what the fuck?(P: *laughs*) P: We don’t have any time to do anything now D: Is he late now? Time for school. D: He literally just frickin woke- like (P: He’s gonna stink!) P: No one’s gonna sit next to him now! D: So apparently, um, just a quickie here, D: Dab’s homework was in his inventory (P: Wot?!) D: and we bought the high school homework. P: Oh, that’s what everybody was saying in the comments, P: They were like, “THerE’S HoMEworK iN the WrOnG pLaCE!” D: We’re terrible parents. (P: Yeah) D: So go on Dab, you just go to school by yourself. P: What’s his needs? Is he gonna go hungry? D: I mean, probably childcare is gonna come. (P: My grandson!) D: It–it’s fine… *no it’s not* D: How you doing Tabitha, you excited? D: She’s thinkin about beef. D: Wow, you–you do that I’m not gonna question things… (P: Maybe she’s got-) D: *creepy music* Drago… Unblinkingly stares, waiting in the night to destroy the children. (P: Stay away from us!) P: Maybe she’s got baby names in her head and “beef” is one of the names she’s thinking of. D: Tha– ,(P: Yeah) That would, uh, be the only possible explanation P: I do not trust that gnome either, like what was it doing? D: I do-, there’s, why- there’s gnomes, there’s dragons, there’s tentacles under the bed D: Free these children P: *giggles* D: From this hellish neighbo(u)rhood P: *Casually thinks of a pun* I want it to happen, “Gnome more…” D: Ohhh, NICE. P: Wait, wait, wait, “Gnome-ore” *badum, tss! (◕‿◕✿)* D: Good good punny ding dong there P: Oh my gosh.
D: Ohhh, that’s wide, OH shit. D: I forgot, tuck into the table!
P: Oh noo! *sigh* D: Is he? He’s eating food that doesn’t smell nice. P: Don’t eat that, that can’t be good for the baby. D: NonoNONONONO
P: Stop! Put it away! D: Did we – *laughs* P: Oh ho! You saved it just in the nick of time. D: Wait, wait, wait, NOOOOO! P: Oh no, Dil! D: Well that’s it, the baby’s dead. P: See my parents don’t believe in sell-by dates, P: so I go to their house it’s like, “Best before 2015”, P: and I just put the crisp back on the shelf. D: That’s always – like, “Grandma, can I have some marmalade?” D: and she’s like “Yeah!” and you open and it’s like 1996. D: So, what’s, what’s a good pregnancy breakfast? P: Well let me just access my pregnancy knowledge… D: *Your what?* P: You need to pack it full of protein and stuff right? D: So what?
P: Pancakes!
D: Sure, you just want pancakes yourself, D: and then you are living vicariously through Dil.
P: I know! Forever pancakes! D: We’ve all been here P: Hopefully the pancakes won’t be like a bat signal for Eliza Pancakes tho. P: Cause that would be –
D: Yes. D: I mean, one should probably avoid making pancakes, when, uh… P: You should.
D: They, they, they are there and they hate us D: Can we like see them into the window without loading their thing?
P: I don’t know! D: or is it just the house?
P: Evan! What are you doing, mate? D: We’re always watching! P: I’ve got a theory that he’s about to be promoted
D: In 19 minutes. P: So we should quickly stare at something and get focused D: He hasn’t eaten.
P: Ohhh! D: He’s… needs to pee, he’s critical fun levels. P: We failed this morning.
D: And he’s hungry P: Just view it.
D: But sure, let’s view the shit out of that commenter. D: Blahblahblah, there we go, view, view view D: He’s inspired.
P: Sssssssss(*snek*) Yeah. D: Send alone
P: Yeah, he can go on his own. okay. *Lights out boom noise*
D: So about that cleaner that was literally the shittist thing that ever happened P: You mean…the bad witch.
D: Woah woah woah woah woah! D: “The Landgraab power company has shut off power to your house,”!? P: What?!
D: I thought we paid the bills! P: We so paid the bills.
D: Okay, okay– D: We had a busy – there was a fire. P: There was a fire.
D: There was an pregnancy. P: I mean…
D: We needed to fire a maid. D: And a lot of stuff was going on.. P: Come on, Landgraab’s, let us off D: Dil is so not fun, I think he’s going to die.
P: Oh nooo! P: Dab’s back.
D: Dab’s back and there is no power in the house. P: *giggles* Oh nohooh.. D: This is not the best time in our like- child-raising careers. D: To bring another child into the world.
P: I don’t think so. D: Okay! Well Dab you, you just…
P: Do some… old school activities. D: You do your ho- he needs fun D: What can you do for fun?
P: Play in the pool, that’s fun. D: Is it?
P: Yeah. (◠﹏◠✿)
D: Okay, well swim and then you are doing homework, okay? P: He shouldn’t be swimming unattended as a child, but you know.. P: Let’s just let him go with it.
D: You actually put that in there as an safety warning, didn’t you? P:Yep.
D: If you can’t swim..
P: Don’t jump in a pool. D: Swim with someone watching you which sounds way creepier than I thought it would be… D: Oh I see, the momentum conserver dosen’t require any electricity. P: Uhhhhhh
D: *UFO impression, nicely done too.* Welcome to… The Twilight Zone D: What a day…Tabitha has had. D: Hello Tabitha, can you please pay the freaking bills, D: so we don’t get evicted? (P: We need our internet!) D: Tabitha is tense and she needs a day off. D: You need a day off?
P:*Laughs* D: I mean ok, she put out a fire, to be fair.
P: Yeah P: I mean I think they should take a day off when the baby arrives D: Yes.
P: Right now she’s gotta graft. P: He’s getting playful with an, “Ayeee”! P: *Laughs* D: *Snaps fingers and points*
P: I need to stop doing finger guns at people P: I’ve done it SO MUCH recently.
D: Phil has a problem, P: I need to just chop my fingers off…
D: he’s just gonna get in trouble. D: Tabithaaa is workin’ out in the sh-
D: She’s so pale…. D: Phil, she is your people.
P: I know! She is! P: Don’t go in the sunlight Tabitha. You’ll set on fire like me. P: Right, Let’s-
D: Why doesn’t she resume the pancakes so, ya’ know, Dil’s dream can be alive
P: RESUME THE PANCAKES D: for when he get’s back?
P: Do ya’ know what he’s gotta do when he gets back? D: Wot?
P: *Whispering* Transformation of the day! D: OHH! YES! GOOD!
P: My favorite thing in the video. D: T-T-That worked out great last time. P: We should do something big and expensive this time because that’s the problem with them.
D: Big and expensive? P: Yeah, I think the more expensive or big the item is the bigger thing you get back. D: Well, what’s more big and expensive than, Both: THAT LAMP!
P: *Laughs* WOOP WOOP D: Okay, Dab. Sorry, its time to dO YOUR HOMEWORK
P: DO IT! P: We need to make a intelligent child, especially if he’s gonna have an alien brother or sister. D: I feel like that’s gonna- OHMYGOD D: HE’S SO FREAKING PREGNANT!
P: HE’S SO BIG! D: He’s so pregnant, I can’t! P: It’s a real life Mpreg fic! D:He’s gonna–, it’s literally–, I mean, he needs to have fun, or he’s gonna die. (P: Yeah) D: Uh, i–is transforming things fun? P: He just needs Tony Stark to come in and rub his back, that’s what I read on the internet D: *???* D: Okay, we went there. D&P: TRANSFORMATION OF THE DAY IS… P: oHHHhhH (D: Hello) P: That’s big P: I think it’s a kitchen unit. P: Uh… what’s happening!? D: That’s perfectly natural! Okay! D: Uh, here, our transformation of the day is a TOP–OF–THE–LINE… D: THING! P: It’s a Harbinger Counter. D: WoW, the Harbinger of Doom! That’s what I call myself. P: I don’t think we have any use for that. D: So, let’s sell it! (P: All right. *Laughs*) D: Or, keep it. (P: Keep it there for next time.) D: Fine. (P: We can use it to place, like, drinks on outside.) D: FINE P: Homework was always the worst time of the day. D: I wonder what he’s doing. D: It’s important step toward getting good grades. P: I tell you what, sometimes all the teachers (D: Is it though?) would set the homework at the same time. (D: Is it– I know, right?!) P: Friday night. (D: And then we’d be like,” Wh-why why why…?”) P: Why? (D: “WAI!?”) P: Those pancakes look good, I’m salivating in my mouth. D: Mmm mmm, WHOOP WHOOP (P: Good thing I wasn’t salivating anywhere else. *Laughs*) D: Art time! Yes, yes, I’m fi- (P: I think this takes, like, ten hours. Just speed it up.) D: It’s dripping some pasta. (P: Yeah?) D: It’s a got a-, it’s a boat! It’s a frickin boat! (P: Macaroni art!) D: We got a rainbow crayon. (P: Yep.) D: Is that a real thing? (yes Dan it actually is) P: I don’t know! D: It’s got, like, wa- lots of different wax (P: If it is, then I-) D: If it is, then I missed out on that. (P: Yeah.) D: Born in the wrong freakin era! D: Okay, the art has been completed, P: Wow! D: so let’s– let’s view it and all of its glory D: What’s it- What’s it called? P: Vehicle. D: “Ve- Ve- Vehicle,” by Dab. D:”Ve- Ve- Vehicle,” by Dab. P: Go on the wall.
D: That is the worst name of anything ever. P: *laughs* D: Could it go on the fridge? P: Maybe. D: If it can’t, I’m gonna be shook. P: Whaaat? D: Noo, way to not know what childhood is about. P: Let’s put it next to the fridge, cause that wall is pretty bare at the moment. D: What, this an art wall? P:Yeah P: That’s nice. Vehicle! D: Maybe the alien baby can contribute some later. P: *laughs* P: With its mind. D: I like that these two are just- Oh no, Dil needs the toilet! P: oh no! D: Dab, send yourself off to school! P: Go now, you don’t wanna see this! D: okay, okay, how you doing daddy? P: He’s HUUUGE!!! D: “Abnormal changes… something is definitely not right, P: Look at that! D: “Dil’s changing body has left him suspicious.” P: It’s SO BIG. D: How, wha- is this alien baby gonna be like a truck or something? P: I don’t know. D: Is it gonna be the “VEHICLE” that Dab drew. P: *laughs* D: I- Dil- Dil is having a heckin big concern right now P: I’m not surprised. D: *Very high pitched, RIP headphone users* HAHA! That’s not normal! P: I wanna see his normal clothes. D: Alright, he’s focused. P: Get to work, Dilly! D: Quickly, go to work! D: Yes, yes, yes! Okay, and now he’s uncomfortable. P: I mean… D: Because of the “Abnormal changes to his body.” D: We’ll see-! P: We’ll see if he gets there. D: We’ll see! P: What I’m wondering is can he give birth at work? P: Because that would be worrying. D: Pfft! (I think that was a laugh; Dan, you okay?) P: They might do experiments on the baby… D: I don’t wanna know– Apparently, it’s the “Landgraab Elementary School.” P: These guy needs to chill. D: They need to stop being the freaking mafia. P: They are like the Amazon of the sims D: or whatever the freak. P: Do you know one time a wasp genuinely flew out of my homework? P: I’m not even kidding. D: Really?? P: Yeah. D: Wha- what was the situation here? D: That sounds quite dramatic. P: I think my music teacher put it in cause she didn’t like me. P: *Laughs* D: You think your music teacher, put it in? P: Yes!! D: Okay, that’s quite a bold accusation there, Phil. P: It stung me on the finger! (Precious Phil… Music teacher I will find you… and I will kill you.) D: What’s he doing? He’s having a- D&P: chat. D: Who are you phoning? P: Yeah. D: I don’t agree with, who is he chatting to? P: Don’t know, probably Evan, he’s the only person he knows. D: Well you’d hope, maybe it’s the maid, or that woman that tried to knock on the door. P: Oh yeah. D: okay, Dil’s back, and- P: He’s glowing! D: Some more mystical glowing! P: Is that a good sign? D: I don’t, I mean- P: Is that means he’s healthy? D: Jesus Christ, LOOK AT THAT THING! P: *giggles* D: I mean can he just like click on himself and say go to hospital now? P: I don’t know. D: He is thinking about contacting some aliens. P: No, I think you’ve had enough of that Dil. D: I think, I think let’s veto that. P: Yeah hehe *cues creep music* D: Meanwhile…okay P: She’s praying… P: To the danosaur god. D: There, there’s literally D: Nothing freaking incredibly disturbing about this situation right now. P: *laughs* Not at all! D: Everything’s fine. P: I think the big plot twist of this is that Tabitha is gonna leave Dil for the dinosaur. D: Definitely. P: Oh look at that thing! D: Ohhh, that, that , that… P: That is, that is HUGE. D: Can skin do that? P: I don’t know D: Mother of god.. P: He’s grubbing up that shower. D: He, he really just grub the shit out of that shower. D: Woo yes. P: Ohh *laughs* D: Be proud of it, Dil! D: Don’t let anybody in this video shame you. P: I mean that’s probably the comfiest thing you can wear. D: Literally. P: If I was him I would just balance drinks on it as well. P: I’ll just lie in the pool like Homer Simpson D: You could do that, Netflix and bed would never be more convenient. P: Dangerous using the toilet, baby might just fall out. D: *laughs* Is that what happens? P: We haven’t spoken about where this baby is gonna come out of either. D: I, I, I haven’t.. P: *laughs* D: I have just decided to go with the flow. D: You know.. P: Someone in my liveshow that it might come out of his mouth? D: That’s really disturbing.. D: I hope that doesn’t happen. P: Or his butt. *Dan thinks about his life decisions* P: Or somewhere else that might be more painful. D: That makes no sense at all. P: *laughs* D: Anatomically. D: Tabitha can now play blues songs. D: Appropriate, you jazzy minx. P: Where did that come from? D: I don’t know D: Oh no, *sings* Dab is scared of the monster. D: For fuck sake, P: Let Tabitha spray. D: ok, here we go again. D: No, he needs to, he needs to just do this himself D: He needs to talk to the monster under the bed P: It’s gonna took him away to his universe like stranger things. D: How? D: Just…Why don’t you leave. *both freak out* P: Oh! D: OHHHH! WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT THE FUCK?! D: DAB!! YOU AND YOUR TENTACLES, D: NO ONE CARES!!!! D: Dil, you need to, you need to, you need to get up P: Is he aware that he’s in labour? D: okay, he’s very uncomfortable. D: Imminent close encounter. P: Oh my gosh! D: Whatever it is, it’s about to come out – Tabitha is like “bye bitch,” D: “I’m going to bed right now.” P: It is late. P: I mean he could’ve wait until morning, couldn’t he? D: He’s just, wha- wha- D: *weird beat box noises* agda, ab, ab, abagadigdigdishabina P: Is Tabitha freaking out? D: Yeah, Tabitha is like “okay…” P: Let’s just look at her. D: She’s having pre-parental panic right now.. P:Ha! D: Ye- yes! D: yes, SAME! P: That’s what we are feeling Tabitha. D: Same, Tabitha. D: That makes a lot of sense. P: Yea. D: ok! D: So, what are the options? D: Dil, ohh, look at he’s like D: BAM, model, Armani, same. P: *laughs* D: Right, um… P: Have baby at hospital! P: We could just go do it now! D: I feel like, considering the implications of male biology. P: What’s the – the hospital takes it away! P: Join! D: Let’s, let’s join Dil at the hospital. P: Oh my gosh! D: With Tabitha. What does this mean? I didn’t know there was a hospital. P: okay. D: I’m pre-parental panic right now. P: I’m so excited! D: Willow creek..there’s a freaking hospital?? P: I didn’t know this was here. D: That’s cool. P&D: okay D: wow, let’s, let’s just explore the hospital. P: yeah. So that’s the lady that works here. D: So firstly, Chelsea is just having a great time there. P: She’s not even ready for what’s about to happen. D: They’ve got a lot of gym machines. P: Is he gonna give birth on a treadmill? D: Some tables…ahh there we go. P: It’s pretty empty, I think we’ll be okay. D: This is a fancy ass freaking hospital. P: Yeah. P: Is it got private health care or something? D: Well, America doesn’t have public health care, Phil. So- P: Ohhh P: Who said this is America? D: True!! P: Yeah! D: This is a (P: sim world!) burning utopia where you pay for nothing. P: Hello!! Doctor save us please. D: Is that the doctor? D: Doctor Antoinette! MIND CONTROL! P: *small giggle* Not right now. D: Um, like, what does he do? P: I’d like to have one baby, please! D: Can I- (P: Check in) check in front desk? Okay, here we go. P: Hi, I’m having a baby! D: Litrally (I’m sorry) *cackle*… turning up… in that outfit. P: Yeah. D: *admiring son* What a legend. D: Hello, ARE WE (P: Call…) EQUIPPED FOR THIS? P: Call the army! D: My… P: and all of the tanks. D: None of my education helped for this! P: What is Tabitha doing in the background?! D: She is being helpful in her own special way


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