Iyanla Opens Up About the Secret Death of Her Birth Mother | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN
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Iyanla Opens Up About the Secret Death of Her Birth Mother | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN


IYANLA VANZANT: I’m concerned for you because anybody that grows up in the midst of secrets and lies loses touch with who they are. Ask me how I know that. Ask me how I know what it means to grow up with secrets and lies. KAMIYAH: How? IYANLA: ‘Cause I did it. I grew up all my life thinking one woman was my mother who wasn’t. And everybody around me lied to me. So, at 30, with three children, I found out that the woman I thought was my mother was not my mother. My mother, my birth mother had died when I was two. And nobody saw fit to tell me. So, at 30 I had to figure out who the hell are you. You’re 19. I’m so excited that you get to do it much earlier than I did. Secrets and lies. Ain’t your secret, ain’t your lie, but it’s your life. KAMIYAH: I keep hearing you say secrets and lies but I just don’t want to hear you call my mom a liar. IYLANLA: But what if she did lie? KAMIYAH: Okay, she may have. But we’re not gonna call her a liar. [MUSIC]

93 Comments

  • T Gomez

    Until you ACCEPT the TRUTH of your mother being a LIAR…you won't be able to fully heal and progress. Your mother is a LIAR and she kidnapped you. Yes she cared for you and she loved you, but she also RUINED your life and your birth parents and damaged you now that the truth has been revealed.

  • Ebony C

    As her being a Cancer, it’s going to be hard for her to break her loyalty from the mother that raised her. Cancers love, adore and cherish their mothers. This is a sad situation all around.

  • MADONNA Clark

    The woman who raised her is a liar, fugitive and a theif. Who finally got caught. And she is where she deserves to be as far as I'm concerned in prison. For no less then the same amount years I hope . She kept that mothers child from her. Who made this young lady live a lie.And she robbed her birth parents of their birth child. Because she felt entitled to somebody else child.She, could had legally adopted a child. That birth mother didn't know if her child was dead or live. Now this young lady has Stockholm.She has loyalty, empathy and love toward her capture, kidnapper. She is clueless to what that woman robbed her of. Only because she is the only mother she knows. And she was treated very well and loved very much.Thank goodness for that. At her age of only 19 its going to take her to get about 30 years old or she becomes a mother herself. Before she understand and gets that her real mother who loves her, who carried her and gave birth to her. Never stopped looking for her, missing and loving her daughter. Is not her enemy. She didn't do anything wrong. She been robbed twice. It must cut her birth mother like a knife. To hear her daughter defend her kidnapper. After all the stress, years sleepless nights and hell that she been through. And her daughter not be as happy to see her as she is. To find her live and safe. Just a very sad story.

  • Jillian Buntin

    This irritating and rude young girl smh,Iyanla really has the patient of a saint to still be sitting down with her even though her attitude is as if she wants to fight Iyanla, she's a typical black youth of today no respect for anyone

  • foreigncarsrule

    Someone that lies is a liar… And if u kept up a lie going on and on and planned it out for so many years u r a liar. This girl is so tragic.

  • Frances Taylor

    She won't fully understand until the day that she becomes a mother. Then she will call her "mother" out. That is the day that she will find loyalty and sympathy towards her MOTHER

  • AVE Skincare

    There are so many people living in shame, hurt and pain, so heartbreaking. Without the true power of LOVE in their life. Facing reality will be so very hard for them in the beginning. But with support, guidance, respect, and love from others, some will be able to push through. We all deserve a second chance, but you must be willing to try. Be brave and courageous in all situations. When you stay in actions, you will see results.

  • 0123456787175

    Someday, she will face the harsh reality that the woman she calls mama is not just a liar but also a cold-hearted kidnapper.

  • L Hamilton

    Am I the only one just curious as to which mother Iyanla is talking about because wasn’t it mentioned in the news that it’s more to the story than just kidnapping? And Iyanla says “ but what if she did lie?”

  • tenisse h

    The woman who is responsible for this is the least a liar.. She is Wicked, Selfish, evil, vindictive I could go on.. such a sad story! I can literally feel the hurt and trauma this young girl is facing.. I could cry for her..

  • Kandjii Toini

    I feel like this girl has gone through a lot to get over it.. the only way she will understand what the hell is going on is when she gets a child once you become a mother you will understand what it is like to lose your child..

  • Sandra Turner

    HOW TRAGIC THIS GIRL THINKING IS AND YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE SHE HAS A CLASSIC CASE OF STOCKHOLM SYNDROME AND WHEN SHE FULLY MATURES AND HAVE HER VERY OWN CHILD SHE WILL SEE HOW MUCH LOVE SHE HAS FOR HER FIRST BORN AND SHE WOULDN'T IMAGINE SOME ONE TAKING HER BABY FOR AN HOUR AND PROMISED NEVER TO SEE HER AGAIN UNTIL HER BABY IS GROWN, SHE WOULD BECOME MAD! AND FINALLY SHE WOULD BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY THE PAIN HER BIOLOGICAL MOTHER WHO CARRIED HER AND BROUGHT HER IN THE WORLD IN IMMENSE CHILD BIRTH PAINS AT THE AGE OF 16 ,WHEN THERE WERE ABORTION CLINICS PLENTIFUL BUT SHE WAS COURAGEOUS TO BRING THIS CHILD IN THIS CRITICIZING WORLD OF HER MOM'S AGE AND STATUS OF LIFE AND THE MOST HORRIBLE THING OF IT ALL IS SHE IS TREATING HER MOM LIKE SHE'S THE CRIMINAL BECAUSE SHE NEEDS TO REALIZE THAT ANIMAL SITTING IN PRISON IS NOT HER MOM AND SHE ROBBED HER OF HER FORMATIVE LIFE WITH HER FATHER TOO AND SHE CAN NEVER GET THAT BACK AND SHE ACTS IF THOUGH SHE DOESN'T CARE FOR A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER REAL PARENTS AND WE HAVE TO CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR HER TO COME OUT OF THIS EVIL TRANSE BECAUSE I CAN SEE HER BREAKING DOWN ONE DAY WHEN IT ALL HITS HER BECAUSE HER BRAIN FULLY MATURES AROUND 25 YEARS OLD ACCORDING TO PSYCHOLOGISTS AND SHE WILL NEED ALL THE PRAYERS AND HER REAL PARENTS TO SAVE HER BEFORE SHE SELF DESTRUCTS

  • Carrie Hubbard

    TO Be Delusional and Lying to yourself is the 1st stage to protecting yourself from insanity until you ready if you ever get ready to confront these tragic situation n secrets , lies not to mention Embarrassment.God have mercy she need a real miracle hopefully she'll be Happy n whole Soon I see how much she hurt

  • RED MIC RADIO

    This is a 19 year old Underdeveloped child Iyanla is trying to reason with. She to young to comprehend Logic and Reason. I just hope she can heal. I just don't want her to do something crazy and end up in jail like her mother. Peace and Blessings

  • Channae Thomas

    That kamiyah mobley gets under my skin its like she is taking in all the attention just to act out when people are trying to help you..

  • Barbara Codner

    The fact that Kamiyah is defending her abductor shows how much in denial she really is. When she faces the reality of what has been done to her, she is going to have a major break down. I really feel sorry for her and her parents.

  • KaneneProductions

    I feel lil' mama. It's her mother as she knows it. With that, don't call the child's mother a liar. She'll get there when she's ready.

  • billionscristan

    This show should have NEVER taken place. This baby ain’t ready !! Point blank!! The OWN network is dead wrong for pushing this baby to do this. Same thing they did to Bobbi Kristina, and she wasn’t ready either… Everything isn’t meant to be a moment.

  • TheFirstLadyHisMrs.

    Kamiyah has seemed to shut off the reality of what has happened to her. She loves the woman that she has known as her mother the majority of her life. It hurts her too bad to accept the reality of her circumstances. She's hurting down to her bone marrow…..this is so heavy for someone to deal with. Especially being so young and nieve. My heart cries for her.😖😟.

  • BerQuot

    Just watched the airing of this show. OMG. I didn't expect all of that pain to flow from her like that and so soon.. I can't imagine the mixed garden of emotions she dealing with.. Wow. I hope she will find peace with all of this. That's alot to shoulder.. and her birth family need a lot of counseling as well. They don't want to push her away with questions etc and expressions of how they feel. Terribly sad situation. 😞

  • Becca

    So sad…. But maybe she will come back & finish the process. She's definitely suffering from PTSD. Hoping for a Part 2 with Carlina White & Kamiya's birth mother. If I was her birth mother, there was no way I would let her appear on this show alone. She needs some in depth therapy, probably suffering from PTSD. Praying that she does not do anything destructive to herself. The father walks around on egg shells b/c he doesn't want to rock the boat, maybe feeling guilty b/c he was incarcerated at the time. But it seems like she's angry with her birth mother. What else could she have done, she was a child herself.

  • Jackie Perez

    I'm wondering… if when she has her own child she realizes that what her kidnapper did was cruel. I watched an old clip of her biological mother sobbing for her when she lost her and it was heartbreaking.

  • Ms D.

    OMG, this young girl has been destroyed so deeply. That day she learned about the kidnapping she decompensated, I feel her, 18 years of lies. I hope the woman who did that to her will rot in jail and in hell, how narcissistic you are to destroy a child like that.

  • I Am Unknown4Now ASMR

    It's a certain way you have to speak to her. She's in pain and in defense mode, I would have held her hand and rubbed it as we spoke. I would not call her mother a liar, you have to choose your words but get her to relax and open up. Anger is bubbling Iyanla had bring her down.

  • Nina Miller

    It’s not that she not connecting it’s that she don’t want to see the truth when she have kids she will come around and understand how much she need her biological parents in her life

  • Raimundo Laurencia

    She looks like she don't give a damn about her healing and acknowledging the fact that her mom habitually lied.

  • Alpha Mukeba

    I don't know why they are forcing at this early stage to forget about Gloria…I respect that girl alot you come just come and tell her to forget about someone who she grew up with for the past 20 years, someone who gave love and all she wanted. in her mind she doesn't know that she was kidnapped because she grew up as normal kid and having a loved parents. they need to give her time really alot time . they are traumatising her if they don't know. I have been through quite a similar situation and I totally I understand her.

  • Sapiophile 2566

    Same happened to me kind of. The man I was told was my father wasn't my father and I didn't find out until I was 16 and I rebelled. Not pretty.

  • Truth Seeker

    So she was abducted from birth abs loves the mother that raised her. That is not her fault, she didn’t know it wasn’t her birth mother, so what. This is the woman that mothered her and he’s has every right to love her. She can’t hate her abs she shouldn’t be made to. The fact that her birth mother seems to be blaming this child by not turning up makes me think the woman that raised her was a better choice. Giving birth does not a mother make. Poor kid.

  • LadyGds

    She's in denial about her LYING kidnapper!! That's all she is is a kidnapper – PERIOD!!! The wrong things done for the right reason is still the wrong thing. I pray for this girl 🙏🏾

  • D.

    People can say what they want but she is gonna love the woman that raised her regardless. the woman did deserve punishment but the justice system only caused that girl to be more broken because they took her mom away after all of the mess she went through. it didn't matter to the justice system because she was just another black kid. Nothing involves compassion anymore. I feel for her original family but I feel for the woman that raised her as well.

  • Sabrina G.

    Bad timing! Iyanla needs to respect boundaries and should’ve tried a different approach with Kamiyah. Kamiyah is only 19 years young, she has plenty of time to address those hurtful issues.

  • sharae brown

    i think because so many people in her “new life” wants her to disconnect with her kidnapper , she gonna continue to be defensive about her

  • sassyintrovert

    Bottom line, Miss Gloria is the only mother she knows. She was kidnapped but no one will ever force her to see that. They're basically telling her to hate the kidnapper that raised you in love. Now love a stranger because she's your biological mom. That has to be frightening. Tell me who is programmed that way? I sense the only reason she seemingly gets along with Dad is because he acts like the big homie.

  • Mrs_pinky85

    She feels a need to defend the lady she calls mom. Someone needs to tell her that parents are human. We can admit who our parents are. She feels that she is her moms only defense. But wrong is wrong.

  • Moral Order

    That baby was not ready for healing or truths because not everything had sunk in yet. I can only imagine how one has to process knowing their life was and identity was stolen from them. That seems emotionally overwhelming.

  • Be Kind

    I had no idea this happened to Iyanla. My goodness, what hasn't Iyanla been through! The death of a child, child abuse, lied to about who her mother is…may God continue to use you as a light to help others see.

  • Linda Joy

    I understood stand Kamiyah's love for her kidnapper because she was treated with love from this woman. But people who kidnap children can't get a free pass because they were loving and kind kidnappers. I pray she receives all the therapy and love to help move on with her life.

  • Biacca Green

    Damn my story is different but not. I though Curtis was my father for 7 years to find out he was not. I ended up thinking my mother wasn’t my mother cause I didn’t look like her. Well she is my mother but I never met my birth father until 2015 when I was 43. I still don’t know the story surrounding my birth, since I was told I was the product of rape. Sad real sad

  • oh ,That Kendra ?

    She will not understand until she has a child of her own. Right now she can not understand the agony of something so priceless and precious being taken away from you. Sad all around.

  • Lebo Keratilwe Makokga

    She's looking at Iyanla like, "Uhmmm, so what?" She doesn't look like she's even interested in listening to Iyanla.

  • Christen Denise

    I feel she is thinking ,this woman, this criminal ,did everything in her power to keep her, protect her, be a mom to her. And she did it by force. The girl is going to be loyal to that woman.

  • AbenaD88

    Look at the way she is robbing the couch. This kid is full of anger. She is very disrespectful and needs to face the facts. Instead of reacting her anger towards others. probably when she comes to the realization of what her “ mom” did to her it will be too late!

  • ForChristOnly

    In the bible, it says you cant love mammon and love God. You must love one and hate the other. This is what I see here. She cant fully accept her biological mother because she still loves her kidnapper. It's hard to process 2 mothers in your mind. You have only 1. Like you can never serve 2 masters in life. You must serve your creator to grow into your full identity. Otherwise, your life will be built on lies.

  • Kia Denise

    So I’m guessing her and her birth mom had a situation similar to her and iyanlas. She’s very protective of her mom who kidnapped her. Which is understandable.

  • KAVANIA CHEVALIER

    They need to let the girl heal. The person she knew from her mother just got sent to jail. And her biological expects her to cut off her feelings. That is insensitive. The biological was hurt for 18 years I get it. But the only life and mom she knew for 18 years is gone. She doesnt know who she is. In order for her biological family to build a connection they are going to have to get to know the kidnappers family. As painful as it maybe it will help. The fact of the matter is the fake family knows her best.

  • Mbalz 19

    Put yourself in the young lady's shoes… everyone is hell bent on getting their views across forgetting the simple facts.

  • AJ Muzik

    And that was the telltale sign that Kamiyah was not ready to start the healing process. Whenever you are unwilling to call a spade a spade, you cannot begin to heal.

  • centigradz

    Just like Oprah, iyanla is exploiting ppl for their stories. To make it sensational. But the fact is she treats her kidnapper as her mom and that's not going to change. It's an imprint on a person. Forcing her to connect with her birth mother is ridiculous and takes time. She is defending her kidnapper becoz that is all she knows.

  • AJ Muzik

    This should have been everybody's clue that Kamiyah was not really ready to move her life forward. When you cannot call a spade a spade, you cannot heal. Point blank.

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